Tank Bus Goes Snowboarding

Not even a dead battery, various squatting squirrels and an exhaust pipe that, well, doesn't exhaust could stop TB from taking an intrepid group of riders to the slopes of white tail. Also we received a notice from one of the persons on this trip that the site hadn't been updated in about two years. So in conclusion: bam, updated.

Tank Bus Mail Bag

From time to time The Tank Bus Mail Bag gets an email worth posting. This is a good one from a true and enlightened fan. Enjoy.

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Johnny Tech Fan (real name removed to protect the innocent) and I’m going to party my face off this weekend. I have had a busy week of work and I took last weekend off from the college-juice to recuperate from the storm I drank in for 12 hours in order to beat Miami.

I am signing myself up for that same week of hell in order to beat Boston College. It’s up to me. We all saw the Duke game and how VT plays when I’m not there borderline blacking out while cursing the other team’s mascot to hell. For this, I apologize. I honestly had no idea how directly my blood-alcohol-content influences Hokie points on the scoreboard. Now I know. I will never make that mistake again.

I plan on drinking bourbon again because it worked remarkably well against Miami. So join me, won’t you? It is shaping up to be a magical weekend in Blacksburg, courtesy of the Tankbus.

See you all around 5:30 pm (eastern standard time) tomorrow.

Love,

JTF

Summer Work

The Tank Bus crew has been hard at work in the off season. The interior is getting refurbished Hokie Style. After last season's jug issues it became obvious that we needed a toilet. So we bought one. And installed it. We also installed a new grill. Then we took it to Dewey beach and it all worked. Some pics of the work.

My boy Scro' drops some knowledge on Bama

Check the parts from the artilcle from Will "Nostradamus" Stewart in 1998. Interesting in a variety of ways, considering what was on the horizon for the hokies (ryan williams enrolling as a freshman), and the current state of the program:

On the Offense:

"As we have seen more than once this year, the Hokie D and special teams blasted out of the gate, only to see the offense squander opportunities to score, keeping a potential blowout tight."

Hello 2007 and 2008.

On Beamerball at its best:

"In all, the Hokies scored four TD's in 16 and a half minutes. It was an avalanche of points that saw the offense start "drives" at Alabama's 2 yard line, 32 yard line, and 20 yard line. With a short porch like that, even a struggling offense can put up points, and the Hokies did it, burying the Tide under a flood of touchdowns that left them shell-shocked and beaten.

"Beamer-ball," a deadly combination of defense and special teams, was alive and well, and the Hokies had Tech's third win in their last six bowls."

Awesome, just awesome. I hope we get back to avalanches of points this year.

On bowl preparation:

"In the days leading up to the game, I was struck by how relaxed the Tech players and coaches were. Frank Beamer, normally not a big jokester, kept mentioning his quest to find Shania Twain in Nashville, and in one clip shown on the Roanoke TV stations, the Tech players were fooling around playing leapfrog on the Vanderbilt Stadium turf after a practice was canceled due to ice.

That kind of behavior can point to one of two things:

1. Tech was focused, relaxed, and confident of an upcoming victory; or
2. Tech had read too many positive press clippings and was about to get steamrolled. "

Yeah, and we lost to effing Kansas.

On Bowl Woes:

"2.) Tech got a bowl win that was almost a necessity. Having lost 2 of 3 games going into the bowl, the last thing the Hokies needed was to drop their third game out of four, and to lose their third bowl in a row.

I think it's reasonable to expect your team to win 50% of its bowl games, and since the Hokies started going bowling in 1993, they're exactly at that percentage, going 3-3. If you start to lose more than 50% of your bowl games, then the whispers start, and if, God forbid, you start stringing together multiple bowl losses, the whispers become shouts, repeated like a mantra by any media source that covers your bowl games."

Yeah, remember when we lost to effing Kansas?

On Lee Corso:

"In my game preview, I expressed concern over the fact that every expert, with the exception of ESPN's Lee Corso (who is a circus clown, not a college football expert), was picking the Hokies to win, hands down"

"Lee Corso in particular can't seem to get over the hump and pick Tech to beat a big-name team. He's completely comfortable predicting Hokie wins against the likes of ECU, but when Tech comes up against a team like Alabama or Texas, Lee immediately picks us to lose.

He'll never change, but each time we do something like this, I think the rest of the media - the ones who actually think and analyze things - take notice."

Interesting. Less than a year later, as freshmen, we were holding up a sheet in the that said "WE HEART CORSO" in the West Stands (thursday night clemson game i think). We got the word to Mrs. Beamer that we were there, who told Corso where the sign was going to be, and she said that he saw it!! I also recall seeing at sign at one of the gameday's that year "Corso is God and we are his followers." And not to mention the whole GT lightning game. Corso found the Hokie band wagon, and I think we were pretty good to him.

On the Qb of the future:

"Now it's time to let the next generation quarterback, be it Michael Vick, Grant Noel, or maybe even dark horse Dave Meyer, strap it on. Bolstered by great defense and special teams, next year's QB gets to start off with plenty of support, and when he makes a few mistakes along the way, hopefully it won't kill us.

Just one question: can we start tomorrow?"

Yeah, lets just pick one of those names out of a hat and play some beamerball....

On the future:

"Next year is the beginning of the rest of the Hokie football team's life.

Beginning next year, three years of bumper crops of Tech recruits, headlined by a 1998 class packed with high school All-Americans, are expected to lead the Hokies back to the Alliance Bowl promised land, or more accurately, the "BCS Bowl" promised land.

There are serious road blocks along the way. The Hokies' offensive line still isn't nearly up to snuff, and it will take one or two more years to even hope to return it to the levels it achieved in 1995 and 1996.

The defensive backfield will be decimated by graduation. The Hokies have talented players waiting to step up, but they'll be inexperienced.

And the Miami Hurricanes loom as a formidable opponent for years to come. Wait till you see their quarterback of the future, Kenny Kelly. He's awesome.

Other than offensive line and defensive backs, the Hokies 1999 cupboard will be full. In the Big East title hunt, Tech has home games with Syracuse and Miami, and a road game with a West Virginia team that will be seriously depleted on the offensive and defensive lines.

The future - the immediate future - looks bright indeed, and a big bowl victory over Alabama provides the perfect bridge between now and the seasons to come.

FULL SPEED AHEAD (except for OLING)....anyway....I know whats going to happen!!! Is it just me, or would we be freaking out at bringing in a QB with no experience? The fanbase would be these days. Also, Kenny Kelly?? Ha...how many games did he start against tech? I can't remember if he was any good, but I know he never beat us. Maybe foreshadowing for Jacory Harris....yet another talented miami QB prospect? Of course he already beat us, but i can't remember if he started.

Its a Tank Bus Christmas Miracle

Better late than never this post comes after a long and pleasant Winter break. The owners were busy traveling and evaluating the program after a real time, bona fide, totally legit BCS bowl win over Big Easy Conference winner Cincy. Although Tank Bus did not make it to Miami for the game Hokie Nation's favorite RV was not forgotten. Turns out Tank Bus was near the top of many of our friend's Christmas lists. Among the favorites was an awesome VT floor mat, new flag pole, and sick Gobbler flag but the most creative has to be a miniature Tank Bus Ornament from the Weber's aka Sadie's owners. Its probably the most adorable thing I've ever laid eyes on and the rest of the crew agreed. Its going to live in the bus for as long as have it. The picture below doesn't do it justice. Stop by your next Tank Bus Tailgate (VT MD Bball, spring game!) to take a closer look.

My boy Scro' weighs in on the State of the Program

On PSU/Newsome:

yeah, psu is going to be a lot worse off with newsome starting than devlin... but that doesn't really matter cause the big10 is a nonfactor in college football, and psu is a nonfactor in the big10. twice a decade michigan is down and they catch tosu sleeping and they grab a title, but come on... the talent gap between the big 2 and psu is big and getting bigger. evidenced by the fact michigan got newsome when they were offering qb, but when he saw they brought in two other qbs that were better than him (also interesting, the two they brought in after newsome apparently not scared of position competition in bigtime college football (what a novel idea)) he realized he would be a safety there and decided maybe psu would be his spot. or the fact that tosu is going to get the guy everyone likes better than newsome (boyd)... only to have him cut pryor's grass for 3 years, then eventually signal in plays to everett golson his last year. yeah, psu is not doing great....

On the VT QB Situation going forward:

what was the reasoning on not greyshirting juju?? i wish marcus davis hadn't hurt his shoulder just so we would know what we have... but then again he would prolly be playing receiver if he hadn't so, nevermind. i like him. i doubt he is scared of a little competition... since he was basically ready to walk-on at florida over taking a full ride to us, tenn, or psu. newsome is trying to get to the pros he would have been even worse than mv2 about waiting to throw instead of running…and he cant throw like mv2 or tyrod. marcus davis is like some sort of wild animal and his instincts tell him to run. he has no interest in throwing the ball until you make him throw it. maybe when he stops getting a first down every time he takes off he will try to throw the ball. reading defenses?? are you kidding me?? that is for suckas and white dudes. you think mv1 ever read a defense?? if marcus decides he wants to throw the ball he is prolly just chunking it deep to whoever our fastest receiver is (roberts or coles??) if they have a safety way back or are doubling the dude he wants to go to he'll just dump it off to evans or ryan williams, and then scream at them if they don't take it to the house. besides, after seeing the horrific footage that was banned from ever being shown on television again of his hit on vic hall after he had the audacity to pick off davis... well lets just say no defender will ever be making that mistake again. offense is easy when you are physically superior to everyone trying to stop you.

On Tyrod:

by the way, i wouldn't worry too much about the next two years cause i have it from a good source that tyrod is pretty much gonna go through the same transformation this offseason that colt mccoy did last offseason. tyrod is gonna go all colt mccoy on the acc next year.

Another Typical MD beatdown

The Maryland tailgate started out a little rough with spicer deciding that rvs and buses did not deserve the same liberties as other vehicles and would not be allowed to park until three hours before game time. So the first few hours of the tailgate were without the bus which was, as expected, insufferable… I don't know how we used to tailgate without this thing. But eventually the bus was allowed in and things ramped up quick. We had a few oldheads show up, a few faces get painted, and a pretty solid tailgate which obviously carried over to the football field as Darren Evans pummeled Maryland. The postgame tailgate set a new precedent for recklessness with several dustups resulting in a few dicey moments with the fire, a tank bus owner being put on light-duty, and pretty much continued from after the game, through the night, all the way home, culminating on Friday evening with several people going home painted as kitties. All in all, it was a solid W in the parking lot and on the field.

This is where things started getting a bit reckless. At least the fire is still contained in the fire pit bowl at this point. That sort of creature comfort wouldn't last long. We have narrowed the root cause for all this to the rapid consumption of many delicious and amazing warm apple cider and captain morgan drinks. Our unofficial tailgating RV lot parents Ed and Lisa (proud owners of Sadie) were responsible for providing the beverage so the Tank Bus safely and confidently assumed that what happened afterwards was completely acceptable

Haunted Forrest

Well its been a while since the Tank Bus Blog has been updated. A few weeks ago we took a bus trip to a haunted forest somewhere in the middle of nowhere Maryland. We already know what you're thinking: "Holy crap, anywhere in MD is scary as hell and you guys went into the boonies?" Yep. The trip was a success and we even got a pumpkin out of it and a tailgating idea involving a chainsaw. Below are a few pics. It should be noted that while parked Tank Bus attracts random people and if they aren't careful the bus will leave before they can get off. It almost happened on this fateful Oct eve. Luckily the driver was able to hear their shill cries of stop and managed to stop the bus in time.

You don't get to beat Nebraska everyday

While the Tank Bus crew who made the trip cannot say on this site what VT did to the persistent Cornhuskers let it be known that it was a decisive victory. While the Bus didn't make it I can say that waking up after sleeping 7 deep on the bus can't look any worse or better than this which is sleeping on the floor of a Marriott Hotel.

And the post game victory Pic.


Note: If you don't drive the Tank Bus to the game its tough to get a victory lap in. I had mistakenly assumed that the pilot of our Boeing 737 would be more than happy to oblige us in a victory barrel roll on the flight home. United pilots are wusses and possible closet uva fans. I will be sure to ask ahead of time in the future

Seriously did anyone forget they wear Powder Blue?

Well a close win in Chapel Hill. Tank Bus made the trip with a rag tag crew of Hokies and Hokie well wishers and Tank Bus fans. The combination of the three might have been just enough to pull out of there as winners. Among other winners were the relationships saved during this trip. As of this writing we are counting at least 2. For many of us it was our first VT pre-game communion sponsored by Wild Turkey and presented by the clubhousetailgate.com. Tank Bus tailgaters also took it to a new level this weekend. A reoccurring theme this year has been our figurative tendency to throw rocks at hornets nests. Well one member of the tailgate had the unfortunate experience of reliving himself onto a nest of ground wasps and boy were they pissed. A couple of well placed stings later and the message was clear: Stop f*%$ing with bee nests. Will the Tank Bus heed the message? Only time will tell. Also we are taking applicants for a new Tank Bus owner as we are looking to buy out and replace Paul Loker who continues to bring nothing to the table.

How VT beat GT

***Picture Removed for Sensitivity Issues***

Coincidently this is also how the west was won, man walked on the moon, and Ricky Williams is still playing football.

What needs to happen going into UNC

My boy Scro' just sent me this email about what needs to happen to have a good season. Enjoy:

i guess the first step on offense was to create some sort of repercussion for defenses blitzing us on every play... i guess tyrod running has done this (just like last year.) the second step was to develop a running game... i guess evans' emergence plus tyrod has done this (hopefully getting bdc back will help even more.) now if we can actually get the receivers involved and make teams believe we will hurt them with the pass, well then i guess you could say we will have a borderline average acc offense.

and, nah this story is not over... if we can win another embarrassing game with tyrod and evans doing everything, and yates making dumb mistakes, we will be halfway there. we just have to keep improving, hope to split at bc/fsu, hope miami is still very poorly coached and we can get by them.... then watch maryland, duke, and uva fall down in front of us. then hope we draw wfu in the acccg, and hope tyrod, boone, roberts, and evans can just out-athlete them. then maybe we catch a team as bowl inept as us like say oklahoma or tosu, or maybe even an sec team that is so disgusted that they aren't in the national championship they get all hung over and hurt themselves on jet skis before they play us, and walla... it will be the best season ever. but it all starts this saturday.

HOKIES BEAT THE JACKETS, aka, Tank Bus trip #2

This is very simple. If ECU wins out, they are going going to be a top 5 team. Not bad for our only loss. It will be a nice debate over who gets to play USC for the National Championship, us or ECU, but I think the voters will be on our side, since we will have an ACC championship. Kirk Herbstreit will note 3 main reasons we are picked to play in the national championship over the other one loss teams (and undefeated ECU):

a) strength of schedule ( beat top 15 teams miami and FSU away from lane, and beat #2 and previously undefeated Wake Forest in the ACC Championship game).

b) a resurgent offense that scored 45 points a game on the season (is that right? can something be resurgent if it has never been surgent in the first place? I'll let this slide..Kirk may not be a genius but is awfully easy on the eyes)

c) a beautiful and mystical bus that follows the team around, giving the team confidence as well as a warm fuzzy feeling

Back to reality..its been a tough 2 weeks. GT, in THEIR rebuilding year, is probably going to beat us. Our oline sucks, our QB's are awful, a dlineman from our crappy dline is hurt making our dline even crappier against an option offense, our WR's are...well, they don't matter anyway. I spent the weekend trying to apologize to my dog for naming her Taylor. After a year in the system Tryod can't find a receiver all game against a D2 team, can't read a D2 defense (lets not get into how our experienced oline can't block a D2 defense)? Clearly he is not going to leave for the NFL anytime soon, and he probably should have gone to Florida where they could have used him correctly. Here is hoping Bruce Taylor is good, so when the dog grows up I can lie to her about her name. I should have known to stick to defense anyway. Hokies hate Sean Glennon. Hokies hate Stinespring. There are fist fights in the stands. Diesel is $5 a gallon. I thought this was supposed to be fun? I waited all year for this?

What could possibly save this year? I wish I knew. Our offense won't get much better, our defense hopefully gets a little better. I have 100% confidence that our special teams get better. What else is there? Well, there is one thing that will get better. Tailgaiting.

A 3:30 game is coming to lane, and VT Tank Bus is coming with it. This is a chance for Hokies every where to get very liquored up, and get very obnoxious. We can finally be on the same page. Tank bus will be making its first trip to the parking lots of Lane. It will be in the normal spot, in the public lots, with the riff raff. Also, as incredible as it may sound, a few passengers have gotten off the Tank bus! Inconceivable! This means, there may be a few extra seats available on this trip (you, yes you, could ride on the tank bus!). It is still TBD on whether we let these band wagon riders back on the bus, we will take our cues from Frank Beamer, maybe we will wait and see if there is room.

Details....Tank Bus will leave Falls Church at 5pm sharp on Friday. Tank bus will depart Blacksburg at 10am on Sunday. In between is what you make of it. If anyone is interested in riding, send cash, compliments, or black mail me. Whatever it takes. The captain will have further details. This will be our first real tailgate with games, food, music, and other creature comforts.

Things we learned on the Maiden Voyage

1. Josh Edwards may be out of our lives forever.

2. We take heart wrenching losses much better than before. Is it old age, or practice?

3. Its hard to get arrested in Charlotte, we tried, and failed.

4. Its hard to get kicked of bars in Charlotte, we tried, failed many times, and eventually succeeded. Apparently repeatedly ramming your head into a girls chest trying to knock her over, under the guise of dancing with her, is eventually grounds for dismissal in a Charlotte bar. Good to know.

5. Katie does not like apologizing. Ryan is still waiting....and in my opinion, this is getting ridiculous. Its just dancing.

6. We may be old, but we still got it. Quick math, Friday afternoon - Saturday night....approximately 2 hrs of sleep, 2 hours thought collecting/showering (varies individually), 4 hours of ECU game watching, which leaves about 24 hours of drinking/being hilarious/generally raising hell and making people angry.

7. Tires are WAY overrated.

This is going to be a close one, and could very well be decided in the parking lots.

6-3, VT, everyone make sure you don't forget your nightly prayers to Bud Foster this week.

Tone

Innaugural VT Tank Bus Trip/Game 1

14 brave and ambitious Hokies signed on for the trip of a lifetime. The 2K8 season opener (Saturday 30 Aug 08) versus those pesky pirates from somewhere in North Carolina. The trip down was for the most part completely uneventful. There was a very minor side track where we lost a little air in one of the tires and had to get it repaired but it was such a non-issue I can't even recall what tire it was or how long it took. The tailgate was a great warm up for many awesome ones to come. As we all know by now Tank Bus performs a lot better than this young Hokie football team. Hopefully VT will pull out of this tailspin and have a successful season. For now chalk it up as a Tank Bus victory. Special thanks the Gobbler crew for the 45 mph trailer job. See you all in two weeks in the Burg for the GT game. Below are some pics of the ECU trip.

Minor road side issues being worked out

5:30 AM: Arrival in Charlotte and tailgate beginning

Typical Tailgate scene, no big deal

Paul works us through opening credits as Professor Gers pilots the bus

Version 1.0 Tank Bus CREW, Jump on it!

Also Hokie Diplomat and VT-NJ ambassador Melvin P recalled the trip for us all in verse. Such passion and unique creativity derived from only a single trip on Tank Bus can be an inspiration to us all.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this NoVa port
Aboard this tanky bus.

The mate was a mighty driving man,
The skipper brave and sure.
14 passengers set off that day
For a fourteen hour tour, a fourteen hour tour.

The roads they started getting rough,
The tiny bus was tossed,
If not for the courage of our fearless Ry
The TankBus would be lost, the TankBus would be lost.

The Bus sat tilted on the shore of this uncharted highway
With Williams!
The Loker too,
The would be vomiter and his gf,
The Garber
The professor (omg, that one works) and Katie Collins, (et. al)
Here on VT TankBus.

Actually the trip may have been summed up more accurately by local wise cracker and anti-silver lining visionary Sean when he wrote the following:
"I can only speak to what happened up until about 5pm on Saturday when I tapped out… but I think it’s safe to say it can only go up from here for the Tank Bus (the vanity plate can be read as “think bus” – TNK BUS – which is kinda funny).

I don’t think there’s been a more disastrous maiden voyage since the titanic. Congratulations to Ryan for keeping his head and keeping everyone safe during the blowout. I don’t think I’ve seen a better job of averting complete tragedy than his moves on 81. He deserves the German Bus Medal of Honor for his poise under pressure. Maybe he can teach Glennon a thing or two this week and help salvage the season.

I hope you all were able to go at least 60-65 on the way home… and that you made it home."

-Sean

VT Tank Bus Night Out

Tank Bus fans and supporters were more than pleasantly surprised when they were told they could partake in the first official Tank Bus outing. Tank Bus had just received a interior upgrade unmatched by anything seen before. A 20 inch LCD TV and surround sound DVD as well as a flowery upholstered couch. Sweet! The goal of the trip: Drive a bunch of awesome partying people from Arlington to Georgetown. Tank Bus made two flawless trips down the narrow and chaotic m street corridor and called the mission a success. The 20+ people who made the journey described it as life changing and the greatest thing to happen to them ever. Here are a few pictures from the evening. Also a great big ol thanks to everyone who donated to Tank Bus that evening. We couldn't and wouldn't be doing it without all of you

Paint Job = Success

After 4 weeks of waiting the much anticipated VT Tank Bus is painted and ready to cheer on the Hokies. Officially insured and registered the open road is the next step...

Paint Job

Tank Bus paint job in progress. Shes gonna be looking so sweet!

Sanding Day

The VT Tank Bus crew and friends got together on a glorious memorial day in an attempt to use a little elbow grease to prep the bus for her first paint job. Things were tough going at the beginning but then Pat Bunt pointed out that we were using a left handed power sander and operations improved significantly. The goal was to remove all of the old pro-German propaganda, insignia, and detailing. Turns out we only needed to use 400 to 600 grit sand paper. This knowledge came after 75% of the work being done was completed with 80-120 grit paper and a few blisters were formed. Needless to say a lot of solid work was put forth and a few valuable lessons were learned. Hopefully we will be getting her out to the paint shop for the primer coat and the base color scheme very soon. Ryan aka "the guy who kinda knows stuff about things of this nature" Williams will be doing some fiberglass repair and putting down some RTV. While a significant roadblock has yet to be encountered we have preemptively adopted "you hold onto a tank bus this cherry" as our rally call.

The Original Interior

This is the original interior prior to being made grossly awesome.

Also don't mess with the Bus there are real German Soldiers who don't like being disturbed

TANK BUS SCHEDULE

Just so we are all up front about this, this is where we are going to be, and what we are going to be doing. All score predictions provided by the tank bus. You can go ahead and call your bookie, except there is no way we only score 56 against MD.